Cussler Hustlers

Cussler Hustlers S4 E7: Cesspool On The Potomac

Dirk wraps up his sexy, scandalous sex scandal just in time to get dumped, and he does the only sane thing: attacks a battleship with his face. Men would literally rather fight international terrorism with a concussion than go to therapy. 
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Cussler Hustlers S4 E6: Dropkick Maxines

Things are picking up speed! Dirty pictures are revealed. Revolutionary armies are destroyed. Battleships are renovated. Several people are shot. Cheese is eaten. It's everything you want in a holiday blockbuster! Topper still has Covid, Nancy apologizes to Ving Rhames from the bottom of her heart, and the new microphone is probably going to get the boot. Happy New Year!
 
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Cussler Hustlers S4 E5: Syphilis Playground

We picked a good time to slow down our production schedule, since the Topper household is all dying of the 'rona. In spite of all that, we muddle through Dirk discovering that he accidentally uncovered some doomsday weapons, the NSA admitting to planning for race-based doomsday scenarios, and then a quick break for some wild tiger sex in a completely not-suspicious shag pad. Dirk has needs, y'all.

Cussler Hustlers S4 E4: High-Bred & Breakfast

A shorter episode this week, due to real life being VERY rude to our stupid little podcast. Someone gets stabbed in the head with an icepick, but fortunately that's barely even a flesh wound. Someone starts digging for a sex scandal, but fortunately no-one minds in the 80s. Some knows what's stored on the Vixen-03, but fortunately he's not concerned about it, despite it being THE END OF THE WORLD. How's that for a cliffhanger?

Cussler Hustlers S4 E3: Girls Gone Wild Rose

Italian Cruise Ships. Owl murders. Zoomer slang. Blippi. These are all the topics we turn to in order to avoid talking about this week's chapters. But we manage it, all the while reassuring eachother that it was a different time, and Clive probably meant well. Perhaps this week's most shocking revelation: both cohosts were raised on the same sanitized mythologizing series of pseudo-Christian children's books! Oh, and there's some terrorism, I guess.

Cussler Hustlers S4 E2: Take A Bullet For Ya, Babe

We finish up Dirk's initial investigation into underwater nuclear shenanigans, and then we spend entirely too much time in South Africa. Apparently the whites are having a hell of a time down there, and they harken back to the good ol' days of Rhodesia. What does this have to do with Table Lake, Colorado? Absolutely nothing. Join us, won't you?

Cussler Hustlers S4 E1: Peignoire Greasemonkey

Flying fortresses. Exploding radios. Toxic radiation. Naked yoga. Nubile congresswomen. Fried testicles. Vixen 03 starts off a hell of a lot slower than Raise The Titanic, but you wouldn't know it from all the lampshade-hanging and breasting boobily that happens! Nancy has a Moment of Dirkness. Topper has to talk about S-E-X with his kids in the room. Topper's cat becomes the new co-host. It's a whole new season, folks!

Cussler Hustlers S3 E9: RAISE THE TITANIC: THE MOVIE

We're not done with Raise The Titanic. We have one final task... the 1980 big-budget flop adaptation. But we're not facing this journey alone. This week, our very first guest: Topper's wife Steph! She is here largely against her will, she refuses to listen to the podcast, and she hates Clive Cussler, so she was the perfect choice to review the film with an even, unbiased, impartial viewpoint. We may need to start doing ad reads, so I can pay her back for this task. Join us, won't you?

Cussler Hustlers S3 E8: Boat Horny and Stir Crazy

Thank God for Southby, we've reached the end of this titanic Titanic novel. Dana completes her Pokemon evolution into Liberated Female. Seagram gets off the toilet long enough to punch a ghost. Dirk has nasty aquarium sex. Donner has a baby. Prevlov gets a job offer. America nukes itself. This thing has more endings than Lord of the Rings, but only one thing is for certain: MOST of this book didn't need to happen.

Cussler Hustlers S3 E7: Men Having Emotions

Which host is trained in hostage negotiation? Which host's parent has never shot anyone? On this episode, our heroes break out the Strategic Defence Febreeze Reserves and try to keep the damn boat from sinking again, and we lament the lack of futuristic weather control weapons. This episode is brought to you by Faceplant, the Official Beer Of Good Parenting. CW: Suicide talk