Cussler Hustlers
Two strangers, American and Canadian, go through EVERY Clive Cussler novel, from a (hopefully) modern progressive viewpoint. They also get off on tangents and talk about BETTER books, but there’s so much to love with these nerdy macho time capsules.
Episodes
3 hours ago
3 hours ago
47 min
RESOLUTION! Every plot line comes together in the Super Big Happy Ending, with only five or six permanently life-altering injuries. The USA and Mexico are bestest buddies forever. The Zolars find out why you never double-cross academics. Giordino was horny once, and it changed his life forever. Doctor Shannon gets off on being the Other Woman. Miles is also here. Rudi enjoys a nice breeze. Pitt holds his nose and takes the plunge... into marriage! (OR DOES HE?!)
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Sep 26, 2026
Sep 26, 2026
43 min
VIOLENCE! Dirk returns to his primal element: the water! He sneaks up on the bad guys from behind, while Billy Yuma sneaks up on the bad guys from the front. Loren and Rudi join in the violence, but no-one seems to notice. Giordino ends up several inches shorter. Dirk gets another limp wrist. Tupac takes a spin in the lazy river. A bunch of mooks get memory holed. You can't have shit in Cerro El Capirote. Oh, and the bad guys still escape with all the treasure. ONE MORE EPISODE TO GO!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Sep 12, 2026
Sep 12, 2026
39 min
A slightly shorter episode this week, but we make up for it by being highly caffeinated! It's reunions all around. The bad guys get together to discuss how AWESOME everything is going, how they'll divvy up the treasure, and of course who is going to backstab who for a larger cut. The good guys (sand Loren and Rudi) get together to discuss how bad everything is going, how America simply cannot stand up to the geopolitical and military powerhouse that is the Mexican Border Authority, and how sexy Dirk is when he's laughing at death. Loren gives up hope. The Moores rekindle their romance. The Demon Of Death sees a helicopter and experiences ennui.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Aug 29, 2026
Aug 29, 2026
57 min
Things are accelerating! The Good Guys and The Bad Guys finally encounter each other, circling hesitantly and shyly like a couple kids at a high school dance. The metaphor breaks down when the Zolars kidnap, beat and torture most of Team America, but Pitt leaps to their heroic rescue and... uh... dives into the water and swims to freedom. I mean, it wouldn't be a Pitt book without having someone to save from captivity, right? Also, the return of everyone's favorite character, BILLY YUMA! God, I love him. Also, Dirk finds the treasure, I guess, but that's kind of a minor plot point.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Aug 15, 2026
Aug 15, 2026
57 min
THE DEMON OF DEATH! Twelve thrilling chapters of action and adventure, but the only ones to experience it are a pair of extremely calm archaeologists. Dirk discovers charcuterie. Loren hangs with some bikers. Al and Rudi charter a boat for a three hour tour. Tupac Amaru engages his active listening. Joseph Zolar hosts a fabulous showcase showdown. Billy Yuma discovers Chevy-based teleportation. Gaskill and Ragsdale are beaten by the chain of command. Topper wishes this was a Dungeon Crawler Carl podcast. Nancy wants to go out in a blaze of glory. ENHANCE!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Aug 1, 2026
Aug 1, 2026
39 min
A shorter episode this week, but five of the best chapters Clive's ever written! Fun, creative, descriptive, evocative, and of course chock full of stupidity. Dirk does some manscaping. Shannon does some Incan decluttering. Giordino ponders the mystery cheese. The Zolar crime family hires some very smart idiots. Clive discovers white-people spice. Enhance. Enhance. ENHANCE!!!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Jul 18, 2026
Jul 18, 2026
52 min
The plot thickens! Clive adds a few dollops of extra villains, complete with sumptuous meals just to highlight how evil they are. America wants to bring some greasy, oily FREEDOM to Peru. Dirk blows out his hole. Shannon gets wet. Al gives a hard jerk. Rudi is getting too old for this shit. Saint Julien absolutely, positively needs it delivered overnight, guaranteed. Oh, and don't do drugs, kids.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Jul 5, 2026
Jul 5, 2026
57 min
Better late than never, right? Our 100th Episode Spectacular kicks off by being a full day late, mostly because we didn't want to take attention away from America's 250th Birthday. They need all the help they can get right now. Kinda like Sexy Doctor Shannon and The Evil Miller Doppelganger! Dirk Pitt pulls a Mel Gibson on some South American mercenaries. Al blames Dirk for a shark attack. Shannon needs a director's commentary for having her life saved. Tupac Amaru had to go and make this personal. Undercover Agent Gaskill needs a woman's touch.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Jun 6, 2026
Jun 6, 2026
59 min
Book Twelve! Episode One! The book I kinda had in mind when we started this whole dang podcast. The book I re-read half a dozen times. The book that seemed the absolute pinnacle of action and adventure for me. Will it hold up on a modern re-read? So far... kinda! Our heroine is a voluptuous blonde professor with impulse control problems! Al operates the transporter for the away team! Dirk gets sucked down a slimy doom hole! Communist revolutionaries have their good name abused by colonial capitalism! The bad guy is defeated already! ... wait, what?
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
May 23, 2026
May 23, 2026
45 min
CAUTION: This episode contains 0% of your Daily Dirk Allowance. In spite of that, Nancy and Topper sit down ostensibly to talk about remote obscure islands, but the story of so many of them was intensely repetitive (Europeans showed up and fucked its shit). So, we start talking cars, and how much we hate them. There are some bright spots, though! Fan mail and LGBTQIA2S+ ahoy!
A BETTER podcast just wouldn't have released this episode, but you get what you pay for.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com