Cussler Hustlers
Two strangers, American and Canadian, go through EVERY Clive Cussler novel, from a (hopefully) modern progressive viewpoint. They also get off on tangents and talk about BETTER books, but there’s so much to love with these nerdy macho time capsules.
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Episodes
5 days ago
5 days ago
CAUTION: This episode contains 0% of your Daily Dirk Allowance. In spite of that, Nancy and Topper sit down ostensibly to talk about remote obscure islands, but the story of so many of them was intensely repetitive (Europeans showed up and fucked its shit). So, we start talking cars, and how much we hate them. There are some bright spots, though! Fan mail and LGBTQIA2S+ ahoy!
A BETTER podcast just wouldn't have released this episode, but you get what you pay for.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday May 09, 2026
Saturday May 09, 2026
Short episode this week, due to illness and horrible schedules. However, this is a good time talk to YOU... the PEOPLE. Or, the opposite? We want to HEAR from you! 100th Episode Mailbag questions are now open, so feel free to ask us anything or tell us anything! There's also a couple specific things we'd like to know, so... just hit play and listen, ok? It's not even three minutes long. Come on, you're not that busy. I can see the Doritos.
Email us TODAY, RIGHT NOW, at cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlers
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Saturday Apr 25, 2026
Saturday Apr 25, 2026
Hi, howareya? It's Sahara: The Podcast Episode Of The Film Of The Movie Of The Book! Nancy and Topper have a lot of confused, delighted, ambivalent opinions about this hundred-million-dollar epic adventure. On the one hand, they managed to compress nearly every single plot point from a very large book into a movie... but somehow leaving out Abraham Lincoln is a step too far. On the other hand, this film is much too long, and still seems rushed to a deranged degree. On the third hand, the first half holds together REALLY well... so maybe Clive Cussler's on-set meddling was actually helping? Everyone on camera had a blast, and everyone on microphone can't wait to rant about it!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Sunday Apr 12, 2026
Sunday Apr 12, 2026
It's over! We're done! We made it! All seventeen plots come to a satisfying fruition. Dirk Pitt uses his Boyscout skills to roast men alive. Giordino pulls a Jesse James. Eva Rojas becomes bored of golf. Massarde acquires a taste for doctors. Kazim doesn't know how to drive a stick shift. Abraham Lincoln's ears survive the Reconstruction. Another case of boys will be boys. Join us in a couple weeks for our mega-exclusive coverage of the hot new Hollywood Cussler film, Sahara!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Mar 28, 2026
Saturday Mar 28, 2026
Just when he gets out, they pull him back in... to the Sahara! The top United Nations black ops kill team escorts Pitt and Giordino back to Tebezza, with sexy results. St Julien Perlmutter busts into the story like the Kool-Aid Man. Eva Rojas hopes you won't think she's wanton. Our heroes become forklift certified. Melika dies with dignity. Kitty Mannock finished her stroll.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Mar 14, 2026
Saturday Mar 14, 2026
"Unfortunately, this part is really well-written". Do you like dehydration? Starvation? Exhaustion? Pastoral lithography? Then have we got an episode for YOU. Nancy shares some fun facts about mass suicide events. Topper is an assault to aerodynamics. Giordino throws in the towel. Sandecker says to never tell him the odds. Melika is going to get reprimanded at the office. Pitt finds the prettiest corpse in Africa. This episode is brought to you by Renault.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Feb 28, 2026
Saturday Feb 28, 2026
Dirk and Al bravely escape their captors... and are then almost immediately recaptured when they break into the high-security inescapable fortress of villainy. Honestly, they should have seen this coming. Sandecker convinces the President using only facts and logic. Massarde is reminded that billions of dollars won't actually protect you from a bullet. Our heroes take in an unexpected donkey show. Gunn flies first class. Ismail Yerli spots a red-breasted nuthatch. Train good, car dead.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Feb 14, 2026
Saturday Feb 14, 2026
Dirk Pitt finally runs into something he truly didn't expect and cannot handle: a villain who knows more than he does! Hala Kamil's rebound dooms the planet. Al Giordino takes one on the crotch. Sandecker has to make Sophie's Choice for dumbasses. Eva and Hopper discover the only thing worse than North African warlords... white capitalists. On the plus side, we discover a fuel-efficient automobile that's comfortable and luxurious on and off the road!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Jan 31, 2026
Saturday Jan 31, 2026
BREAKING! A once-in-a-century weather event happened again, making recording this week logistically impossible. So, to tide everyone over, here is the REMIXED AND REMASTERED Season 1 of Cussler Hustlers, The Mediterranean Caper in its entirety! Well, not COMPLETELY in its entirety... the biggest digressions, wanderings, meanderings, off-topic diatribes and pet noises have been removed. But the sound quality has been dramatically improved, where possible. This will keep you company while you're waiting in line at the Walgreens for half a roll of toilet paper and a jug of gin, or whatever it is you Americans do with your weekends.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Jan 17, 2026
Saturday Jan 17, 2026
At last, the Promise of the Premise had arrived! Major characters arrive in the desert, but unfortunately they miss out on all the searing hot cannibal-on-cannibal action. Our nominal heroes successfully complete A Science, and are immediately ensnared by the unfortunately competent military forces of a corrupt West African warlord. Pitt takes his ball and goes home. Giordino tries to add a blonde to his collection. Rudi utilizes his Treadstone training. A French billionaire is forced to accept long distance charges.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com