Cussler Hustlers

Flying fortresses. Exploding radios. Toxic radiation. Naked yoga. Nubile congresswomen. Fried testicles. Vixen 03 starts off a hell of a lot slower than Raise The Titanic, but you wouldn't know it from all the lampshade-hanging and breasting boobily that happens! Nancy has a Moment of Dirkness. Topper has to talk about S-E-X with his kids in the room. Topper's cat becomes the new co-host. It's a whole new season, folks!

We're not done with Raise The Titanic. We have one final task... the 1980 big-budget flop adaptation. But we're not facing this journey alone. This week, our very first guest: Topper's wife Steph! She is here largely against her will, she refuses to listen to the podcast, and she hates Clive Cussler, so she was the perfect choice to review the film with an even, unbiased, impartial viewpoint. We may need to start doing ad reads, so I can pay her back for this task. Join us, won't you?

Thank God for Southby, we've reached the end of this titanic Titanic novel. Dana completes her Pokemon evolution into Liberated Female. Seagram gets off the toilet long enough to punch a ghost. Dirk has nasty aquarium sex. Donner has a baby. Prevlov gets a job offer. America nukes itself. This thing has more endings than Lord of the Rings, but only one thing is for certain: MOST of this book didn't need to happen.

Which host is trained in hostage negotiation? Which host's parent has never shot anyone? On this episode, our heroes break out the Strategic Defence Febreeze Reserves and try to keep the damn boat from sinking again, and we lament the lack of futuristic weather control weapons. This episode is brought to you by Faceplant, the Official Beer Of Good Parenting. CW: Suicide talk

Neither fire, nor sleet, nor dental surgery, nor more technical issues shall keep the podcasters from their duties! Dana fights back against the matriarchy, Seagram fights back against his ticking biological clock, and Dirk fights back against gravity. Amazingly, he has the most success! This episode is brought to you by Wet Steel.

Our "parenting witty banter" got gross enough that some of the audio just refused to record. In spite of that, we dive into a segment that is all about Men Doing Manly Things, and Women Apologizing For Their Pathetic Feminine Frailty. Nancy has... some thoughts. Join us!

Nothing robs a magical mystery of its power like answers. James Cameron might have ruined the mystique around the Titanic, but Clive Cussler is here to make sure no-one gets any satisfying answers before he's ready.  This week's question: what is the sound of one nation SCREAMING? Also, special musical guest Engelbert Humperdinck!

In this episode, we find the only thing hotter than a Byzanium reactor: Nancy's husband! Fortunately, he uses his James Bond powers for good, so we can focus on Dirk Pitt: Thunder God. And good urinal etiquette.

Sexy secretaries, child brides, mooching war widows, microfiche (ask your parents), and the question on everyone's lips: WHO IS DIRK PITT?! We rope in the Russians, the French, and the Philippines, and just gloss over all the massacres to keep the plot moving.

Time travel, crying women, whiny liberal feminists, rule-breaking Presidents and shadowy government organizations? The latest Dirk Pitt novel has a disturbing lack of Dirk Pitt so far, but there's plenty of other stuff for us to speculate wildly about!