Cussler Hustlers
Two strangers, American and Canadian, go through EVERY Clive Cussler novel, from a (hopefully) modern progressive viewpoint. They also get off on tangents and talk about BETTER books, but there’s so much to love with these nerdy macho time capsules.
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Episodes
Saturday Oct 25, 2025
Saturday Oct 25, 2025
Although we start the episode discussing how best to shave your hog, this REALLY IS the explosive climax of our tenth Dirk Pitt Adventure! Just like how there's no rule that says a dog can't play basketball, there's no rules against Peace Crimes, and that conceit gets stretched to its absolute limit. Multiple nukes are detonated, and the only lasting fallout is some early retirement with benefits from some Japanese officials who might have had nothing to do with the plot at all. Al Giordino dips his beak into human trafficking. Sandecker threatens to hijack an airplane. The President has a Skype call. Dirk finally eats a salad. And thus ends the era known as 'Early Modern Pitt'.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Sunday Oct 12, 2025
Sunday Oct 12, 2025
Grab your Soup Helmets, everyone, and buckle in for some high-flying, robot-zapping, Toshie-squeezing high-octane excitement! Bombs go off, but nothing gets damaged. Dirk dogfights the Japanese military, but no-one gets hurt. And finally, the villainous villains at the heart of our story drop the hammer and NUKE AMERICA... destroying one farmer and his horse. Honestly, it's probably a good thing Dirk gets to go back underwater at the end here. He's a little out of his depth.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Sep 27, 2025
Saturday Sep 27, 2025
The caper has been foiled, people! Everyone has been captured, all of America's plans were for naught, and now Dirk is going to be hunted for sport. But first... Welcome To The Great Kaiten Bake-Off! Your hosts, Topper and Nancy, are here to be your guides through the unnecessarily detailed world of Japanese haute cuisine and supervillain monologues.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Sep 13, 2025
Saturday Sep 13, 2025
We've finally got a caper, people! High-tech hijinks! The US government decides to send the COMPETENT spies into Ajima Island and Project Kaiten (after some... questionable plastic surgery), and our plucky heroes Al and Dirk are press-ganged into being a distraction, something they're uniquely qualified for. Artificial intelligence proves that it's a sound investment. Toshie proves that she's a sound investment. Dirk blows up a bunch of fish with high explosive.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Aug 30, 2025
Saturday Aug 30, 2025
And suddenly... a FAX arrives! Terrible, horrible, no-good very-bad fates await most of the secondary characters in this episode, which I feel is a nice way to cull the chaff and keep Dirk focused! In the middle of it, though, Dirk has to fly to West Germany and relieve a former Nazi tank-driving farmer of his accidental Nazi loot. And maybe a fighter jet. And a painting. Really, it all seems a little convenient. How many more episodes until we get some SICK robot sword-fighting action? Who knows! We sure don't!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Aug 16, 2025
Saturday Aug 16, 2025
Dirk and Al start recruiting their Avengers Super Team. The Pitt family tree expands to include one of the men who helped create the atomic bomb. What's better, sushi or sausage pizza? Who's the real sidepiece, Dirk or Loren? How many classic cars does it take to make every woman on the planet horny? And perhaps most importantly, the final essential piece of the Cussler Formula has finally appeared... Cussler Himself! We hit the brakes on the racism this episode, so we can hit the gas of ACTION!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Aug 02, 2025
Saturday Aug 02, 2025
Longer episode time! Dirk finally allows himself to feel emotion, then decides to make it his whole personality. A woman dares to have a secret, and must be punished accordingly. Japanese far-right ultra-nationalists decide to try American-style diplomacy. Clive predicts the Department of Homeland Security, except in his utopia they're understaffed and underfunded. Also, check out Nancy on Dork Forest with Jackie Kashian this week!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Jul 19, 2025
Saturday Jul 19, 2025
Short episode this week, folks! Nancy caught the plague, and following the plot of a Cussler novel was too physically and mentally taxing (we've all been there, right?) Dirk Pitt goes for a leisurely Sunday drive at the bottom of the ocean. Giordino rages at the heavens and rends his clothes asunder. Flandecker eats a cigar. The full might of the US Government manages to figure out which country tried to nuke them (the choices being Japan and Finland). Nancy makes a timely Cab Calloway reference. It's all here!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Jul 05, 2025
Saturday Jul 05, 2025
It's Hot Dirk Summer as we dive into a new book! We dive into the extreme action with not one, but TWO different atomic weapons (though to be fair, only one of them goes off). Submarine disasters? You bet! Secret underwater lairs? And how! Prolonged digressions into the quantum existence of the female protagonist's breasts? I mean, it wouldn't be a Cussler book without it! Dirk faces death with a stoic grin, while Giordino rends his garments and wails at the cosmic unfairness of losing his heterosexual lifemate.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Sunday Jun 22, 2025
Sunday Jun 22, 2025
International Terrorism: It's everywhere you want to be! It's certainly anywhere DIRK goes! Seriously, they should have a global travel warning permanently attached to Dirk Pitt, like he's Vash the Stampede or something. America speedruns the false flag attacks, the migrant caravans, the extrajudicial killings, and the anti-democratic foreign meddling, because that's what heroes do. Oh, and Dirk has creaky old man sex. ¡Qué padre!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com