Cussler Hustlers
Two strangers, American and Canadian, go through EVERY Clive Cussler novel, from a (hopefully) modern progressive viewpoint. They also get off on tangents and talk about BETTER books, but there’s so much to love with these nerdy macho time capsules.
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Episodes
Saturday Jun 07, 2025
Saturday Jun 07, 2025
VIOLENCE! Oh baby, the promise of the premise is finally paying off! Dirk gets blown up by a grenade, but fortunately he was near a filing cabinet, so he's fine. Everybody gets shot, but our heroes are wearing bullet-attracting vests. Rudi gets sent on an important mission, and manages to succeed by being racist. And Ammar... well... I don't think I'm allowed to say what happens to him in this description. It might get the episode banned. Join us, won't you?
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday May 24, 2025
Saturday May 24, 2025
More terrorists! More special forces! And finally, VIOLENCE! ...almost! We're so, so close to the violence, everyone. Please don't go. Dirk schools the best of the best of the best about icebergs. Hala makes some terrible, terrible relationship choices. Yazid and Topiltzin are betrayed by their 23 And Me results. Ultra-high-altitude covert reconnaissance flights are the ideal location for self-love. Will Ammar get away with it, or will he be foiled by those pesky kids? Find out!
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday May 10, 2025
Saturday May 10, 2025
The Lady Flamborough pulls a David Copperfield out of Uruguay and flees to the Antarctic! You don't need to be suspicious of anyone with a gun as a political conference, because clearly they're SUPPOSED to be there! Dirk has some off-screen couch loving while his dad's being press-ganged into an elite terrorist organization! Mexico prepares to invade the United States! This book is BONKERS... and yet, it all still just feels like scene-setting and tension-building. It's all anticipation, no release! Your hosts are going to blow a gasket if this doesn't lead to World War Three! Join us, won't you?
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Apr 26, 2025
Saturday Apr 26, 2025
Things are really picking up the pace (finally!) Al and Dirk trade pithy one liners while terrorizing a world leader. A car chase leads to an 80's wacky sex romp movie. Topiltzin is more, and somehow less, than he seems. Two thirds of the named characters all end up on the same luxury liner in Uruguay. Legions of unnamed goons get merked like lambs to the slaughter. American foreign policy continues to be "Let's offer to murder someone. Politically." Perhaps most importantly, Nancy can't see the Podcat this episode, and she may never recover.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Sunday Apr 13, 2025
Sunday Apr 13, 2025
Mister Dirk Goes On Holiday! We think he deserves a little bit of a break, don't you? Cussler sure does, because we spend almost the entire episode hanging out with the movers and shakers in the American government, the various evil Egyptian terrorists, and setting up the next big setpiece: a cruise ship in Uruguay! OF COURSE! It's so obvious! Finally, though, Dirk makes a comeback and immediately loses his true love: this book's Sexy Car. Things are FINALLY starting to speed up, though, and we are absolutely here for it. Until we're not.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Mar 29, 2025
Saturday Mar 29, 2025
Our wettest episode ever! Also a day late, due to catastrophic computer failure. We get more American intrigue, in the form of several high-level government briefings that would probably work fine as tweets in 2025. We get lots of backstory about the Library of Alexandria, from a bonus character we'll probably never see again. We get Dirk being a petulant child about having to answer to the Pentagon. Also, we learn one of the most important rules about labor rights: don't fire spies on bad terms. Something that absolutely isn't happening in a certain American country right now. Cough.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Mar 15, 2025
Saturday Mar 15, 2025
The scope of our story expands to TWO countries trying to overthrow themselves, and America! Why would they do that? Who knows! What are their methods? Vague and mysterious! Are they religious fundamentalists? Of course, that was the only kind of bad guy you had in the 80s! Other than filthy Commies, of course, and... oh, they're here, too. Would you look at that! Dirk attempts some high speed archaeology. A diplomat realizes why it's sometimes good to remain polite. Giordino has one job on this boat, it's STUPID but he's going to do it! Oh, and a woman gets to be right for a few minutes.
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Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Mar 01, 2025
Saturday Mar 01, 2025
Shorter episode this week, due to technical difficulties and being busy adults with many important things to do. Probably a good place to stop, though, since we get into a LOT of Mexican and Egyptian intrigue next week and have to introduce like ten new characters (Cussler Mexico and Egypt. Any relation to actual countries is purely coincidental). This week, Dirk asks out three extremely attractive women with head trauma, and cleverly deduces that the plane crash victims didn't die in a plane crash because... uhm... reasons. Good ones. Shut up.
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Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Feb 15, 2025
Saturday Feb 15, 2025
Full disclosure: we apologize for starting a new Clive Cussler book during these troubled times. A shocking plane crash, crazy discourse about Greenland, unrest in Israel, declaring war on Mexico? We expect these sorts of things in real life, NOT in a Dirk Pitt adventure! The producers responsible for this tragic lapse in oversight have been sacked. In the meantime, please try to enjoy this episode and focus on all the sexy, sexy archaeology. We're sorry.
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Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com
Saturday Feb 01, 2025
Saturday Feb 01, 2025
It's a future episode... literally! Cohost Topper takes a break from Cussler to tell you about some of the other books he enjoys, namely the Zoey Ashe trilogy from Jason Pargin! He's not just good at picking titles for books, he's pretty good at the actual books themselves. This episode is largely spoiler free, because Cohost Nancy hasn't read them yet (and after this episode, she just might!) Also, Editing Topper would like to apologize for the lateness. We mention a few reasons in the episode, but there's also a new 25% tariff on podcasts, so it's 25% later than usual. Write your congressperson if you have a problem with that.
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Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/CusslerHustlersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/CusslerHustlersFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cussler-Hustlers/100094911757286/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/cusslerhustlers.bsky.socialMastodon: https://mastodon.social/@CusslerHustlersEmail: cusslerhustlers@gmail.com